023 | Transforming Frustration & Tension Patterns in Relationships

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Have you ever felt beyond frustrated that your partner wasn’t living into their potential or wasn’t showing up in the way you needed in your relationship? 

 

Have you or your partner ever closed down, shut down, or emotionally punished as a way to try to make him/her change? 

 

This maddening dynamic is SO common in relationships. It can show up at different times and for different reasons, but the tension and pain loop is the same. 

 

The good news is that you don’t have to stay in this painful tension pattern! It can be transformed! My guest today, Tobin Zivon, who has worked with thousands of couples, explains why the frustration cycle happens and shares the deep process to unwind, heal, and shake loose from it.

 

Tobin has been a practicing intimacy & relationship coach for over two decades and has so much wisdom to share. He also happens to be my partner :) This is our VERY FIRST episode together where I pick his brain on this area of his expertise and share some insights from my own process. 

 

In this episode we discussed: 

 

  • The love loop and enhancement cycle that’s possible in relationship

  • The most common challenges and frustrations the feminine face in relationship

  • What to do with the grief and disappointment when your partner isn’t showing up the way you want/need/ know is possible

  • Why closure, anger, frustration, and shut down don’t work as tactics to change your partner or create the shifts you crave in your relationship

  • What causes the common punishing / gripping contraction in the feminine 

  • How to discern if the relationship is worth staying in

  • The ways fantasy and being overly focused on potential can hurt your love life

  • Common challenges and frustrations the masculine face in relationship

  • The shadow that commonly arises for the masculine in relationship

  • What causes the masculine to hide and check out in partnership

 

The Men’s Mastery Mentorship starts Oct 2019. Email TobinZivon@gmail.com to apply

 

Connect with Tobin

Website: www.tobinzivon.com

Instagram: @tobinzivon

Facebook: Tobin Zivon

Couples Course (opens October 17th)

 www.relationship-mastery-secrets.com


About Tobin

Tobin Zivon has been a love, intimacy and relationship coach for over two decades.  Tobin is the  author of The Art of Mindful Living and the upcoming book The Art of Awakened Relationship, Tobin helps groups, couples and individuals blossom to their highest potential.

His brilliance shines most brightly in the realms of love, intimacy and sacred sexuality. 

Tobin has been lovingly nicknamed the “Couples Whisperer”, and has worked with thousands of individuals and couples to help them break through stuck patterns and painful dynamics into a new, more fulfilling and connected life of love and sexual satisfaction.

Having studied under some of the most well known tantra teachers, therapists, and spiritual leaders, Tobin has a deep and vital approach to relationships that brings your awakening directly into your relationship, and your relationship directly into your awakening.

His extensive training includes 6 years in a Zen Center, 12 years in the Ridhwan School (under the direction of AH Almaas), a three-year apprenticeship with one of the foremost transpersonal psychotherapists in America, five years with Adyashanti, and a teacher-training program with the South African Tantra teacher Shakti Malan.

Tobin offers private sessions to individual & couples, along with online relationship courses and mentorships for men.

You can learn more at  www.TOBINZIVON.com


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022 | Intimacy Thresholds: Why You're Guarded Even Though Things are Going Great

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In my practice recently there has been a theme: women confused why they are suddenly closed off, guarded, and shut down to their partner despite things going really great in their relationship.

Can you relate? 

Maybe you just had an amazing  romantic weekend, and now that you’re back home you’re being snippy and sharp. Or perhaps your new relationship has been soaring, going deeper, and better than any other relationship, and suddenly you feel your walls up. Or maybe it’s when you are toward the end of an intimate and very lengthy conversation, and you just start to lose it for no apparent reason. 

It’s like an invisible switch gets pressed, and you are no longer the open, loving, available person you just were. It’s perplexing and frustrating to say the least. This is a common phenomena dealing with Intimacy Thresholds. In today’s show I’ll be laying out why it happens and what you can do about.

In this episode I discuss:

  • The commons ways that the effects of intimacy thresholds being crossed can show up in your life and relationship

  • Why contraction in relationship is actually healthy and normal

  • The Love Plunger

  • Intimacy threshold definition

  • Why the walls, defenses, and reactivity come online after an intimacy threshold has been crossed

  • What to do when you realize your intimacy threshold has been crossed

Stay in Touch with Mackenzie

Website: www.kenzieeason.com

Instagram: @_honeyintheheart_

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Sign Up to Receive Monthly Love Letters from Mackenzie

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Subscribe to the Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/honey-in-the-heart-relationships-emotions-intimacy/id1291634385

About Mackenzie

Mackenzie wants to live in a world where tears are celebrated and hugs are held just a little longer. A world where all women know their inherent worth, trust themselves, and are empowered by their loving self-connection and thriving relationships.

As a love and relationship coach, she’s most known for her emotional genius, intuition, and the capacity to create a warm and truly loving space for others to dive deep. Kenzie specializes in helping women work their emotional pain, cultivate clear communication, and reclaim their power in the face of fear or manipulation.

When’s she’s not giving 1-1 coaching sessions, offering online courses, or recording interviews for her podcast Honey in the Heart, you can find her playing mermaid in the ocean, eating acai bowls, and binge watching episodes of her favorite show, Queer Eye. She is incredibly grateful to call Maui her home.

021 | Woundmates, Twin Flames, and Spiritual Bypassing in Relationships with Jeff Brown

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I’ve been eyeing Jeff Brown on social media for quite some time now. Each of his poignant pieces would reverberate through me with a powerful ,”Yes, Amen, and Hallelujah!”

Jeff has a powerful way of articulating the nuances and intricacies of grounded spirituality and love. His teachings are direct and deep, calling out the BS and painful shortcomings of new age culture and spiritual relationships.  Given my history with spiritual gaslighting and my passion for the realness, I knew Jeff was the perfect first guest for Honey in the Heart! 

Jeff covers a lot of ground in this episode, particularly the importance of “Enrealment” in relationship. If you are craving some insights and guidance on how to have a thriving relationship - to yourself, god, and your partner - that includes ALL of yourself (not just the love and light), this is an episode you don’t want to miss!

In this episode we discussed: 

  • What the term “Enrealment” means in both intangible and tangible terms.

  • How typical spiritual constructs are based on patriarchal systems and bypassing

  • The danger and dysfunction of “Twin Flames”

  • How gurus can get away with terrible behavior, misconduct, and painful personal lives

  • The importance of being in your physical and emotional body to have a healthy, nontoxic relationship

  • How relationships help us excavate our trauma and past pain

  • Steps to get grounded if you notice you’re dissociated and bypassing in your relationship

  • Why support is essential to understanding how relationships can be a portal to divinity 

  • How yoga is often used for spiritual bypassing and dissociation from the f*cked up humanness

  • The difference between soulmates and woundmates - and why it’s important to tell the difference

  • Qualities essential to have a relationship based on grounded spirituality / enrealment

  • How tantra and sex can be used to escape and disassociate 

  • Why suicides are happening more and more in new age communities

  • What’s required to actually have a love experience


Connect with Jeff:

Website: https://jeffbrown.co/

Instagram: @jeffbrownsoulshaping

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SOULSHAPING/

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Sign Up to Receive Monthly Love Letters from Mackenzie

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Subscribe to the Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/honey-in-the-heart-relationships-emotions-intimacy/id1291634385

About Jeff Brown:

A former criminal lawyer and psychotherapist, Jeff Brown is the author of 6 popular books: Soulshaping, Ascending with Both Feet on the Ground, Love It Forward, An Uncommon Bond, Spiritual Graffiti and Grounded Spirituality. He is also the producer and primary journeyer in the award-winning spiritual documentary, Karmageddon, which also stars Ram Dass, Seane Corn, Deva Premal and Miten. After writing a series of inspirations for ABC’S ‘Good Morning America’ in 2010, and appearing on Fox News.com and dozens of radio shows, Brown wrote the viral blog ‘Apologies to the Divine Feminine (from a warrior in transition)’ that autumn, catapulting him to a greater degree of notoriety, particularly in social media. Jeff’s new terms and short writings became a phenomenon some years ago, and continue to be shared by seekers and growers worldwide. His quotes have been shared in social media by Alanis Morrissette, Fergie, Chrissy Metz, and many other well-known figures. Most beautifully, they have touched and benefited millions of souls. This gratifies him deeply. In April, 2018, Jeff was invited to Ottawa by Sophie Grégoire Trudeau–gender equality activist and the wife of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau–to film a conversation about emotional healing and inclusivity. She had been sharing Jeff’s words in speeches and social media posts for some time. Excerpts from that powerful dialogue are viewable on Sophie’s Facebook and Instagram pages. Jeff is also the founder of Soulshaping Institute and Enrealment Press. He lives in Canada with his wife, poet Susan Frybort



020 | From Fight to Delighting: Powerful Communication Tools

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Today’s episode is all about going from fighting to delighting. This is a portion of a free webinar I did for my people a couple of months ago, and it was so valuable I’m sharing a bit of it with y’all today. (click HERE if you want to get on my insider list to be invited to future free webinars)

Having good communication in your relationship honestly changes everything. Because of this, it’s one of my most favorite things to teach.  There are nuances and intricacies to communication; it is wayyyyy more than just saying what’s on your mind. What I share in today’s episode are the foundational tools so you can get out of, and stay out of, dramatic fights in your relationship.

In this episode I’ll be sharing four (but it’s really more like ten) of my top essential communication tools that help you get out of those frustrating and noneffective conversations (or fights) and get into clarity and harmony with your boo - even when you have hurt feelings or conflicting viewpoints. 

In this episode I discuss:

  • Why communication is so important and often so tricky in relationships

  • How conflict can be a good thing

  • Tool #1: Power of the Pause

  • Tool #2: Repair + Take Aways

  • Tool #3: Consider Your Timing + Assumptions + Make Agreements

  • Tools #4: Self Responsibility 

Stay in Touch with Mackenzie

Website: www.kenzieeason.com

Instagram: @_honeyintheheart_

Become an Insider

Sign Up to Receive Monthly Love Letters from Mackenzie

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Subscribe to the Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/honey-in-the-heart-relationships-emotions-intimacy/id1291634385

About Mackenzie

Mackenzie wants to live in a world where tears are celebrated and hugs are held just a little longer.

A world where all women know their inherent worth, trust themselves, and are empowered by their loving self-connection and thriving relationships.

As a love and relationship coach, she’s most known for her emotional genius, intuition, and the capacity to create a warm and truly loving space for others to dive deep. Kenzie specializes in helping women work their emotional pain, cultivate clear communication, and reclaim their power in the face of fear or manipulation.

When’s she’s not giving 1:1 coaching sessions, offering online courses, or recording interviews for her podcast Honey in the Heart, you can find her playing mermaid in the ocean, eating acai bowls, and binge watching episodes of her favorite show, Queer Eye. She is incredibly grateful to call Maui her home.


019 | Reclamation from Relationship Rite of Passage

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You may have noticed that the podcast has a new name, look, and feel. With bursting love I introduce to you the podcast in its new, reborn form, Honey in the Heart! 

So much has changed and shifted since I began this podcast two years ago as Embodied Empowered Engaged. Personally and professionally, I’ve grown big time, and it felt timely to have the podcast reflect these shifts.

In this very first episode, I’m sharing with you vulnerable details from my past, pieces of my journey healing from one very toxic relationship, and how I’ve reclaimed my power and refined gifts along the way. I also dish out an update on my work life, home life, and what you can expect from the show moving forward.

I’m layin’ it all out in this one, I hope you enjoy! 

Stay in Touch with Mackenzie

Website: www.kenzieeason.com

Instagram: @_honeyintheheart_

Become an Insider

Sign Up to Receive Monthly Love Letters from Mackenzie

https://www.kenzieeason.com/lovelettersignup

Subscribe to the Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/honey-in-the-heart-relationships-emotions-intimacy/id1291634385

About Mackenzie

Mackenzie wants to live in a world where tears are celebrated and hugs are held just a little longer. A world where all women know their inherent worth, trust themselves, and are empowered by their loving self-connection and thriving relationships.

As a love and relationship coach, she’s most known for her emotional genius, intuition, and the capacity to create a warm and truly loving space for others to dive deep. Kenzie specializes in helping women work their emotional pain, cultivate clear communication, and reclaim their power in the face of fear or manipulation.

When’s she’s not giving 1-1 coaching sessions, offering online courses, or recording interviews for her podcast Honey in the Heart, you can find her playing mermaid in the ocean, eating acai bowls, and binge watching episodes of her favorite show, Queer Eye. She is incredibly grateful to call Maui her home.

Show Links

Courageous Living Life Certification 

Alana Helbig